Five days after elimination, #Blangate warrants grilling by committee


 Not this kind of grilling. Credit - Katarina Petrovska

The American people (well, at least a few people who happen to be American, not that there's anything wrong with that!) continue to clamor for an investigation after the Washington Nationals, having left Joe Blanton off their NLDS roster, were eliminated in a wild 9-8 game 5.

Nats middle relievers gave up six runs and six hits in that game, if you know what I'm saying.

This blog is not one to stir up discord and strife, but at this point we think that there cannot possibly be any harm in just asking a few questions. These questions would probably point to a conspiracy of some sort, for a nefarious goal that would inflame the outrage of every right-thinking person. It would have something to do with a personal agenda against Blanton, or a personal agenda against winning, which is basically the same thing. However, it is not up to us to decide who plays what part in this real-life drama.

We instead demand that the people responsible for #blangate be grilled by a house subcommittee.

Whenever justice is grossly miscarried, conspirators who thought that they would get away with it are forced to wear their best suits to Capitol Hill and are photographed while frowning at tricky questions and moral rebukes. This is called a "grilling." To give you an idea of what we are talking about, here's a top google images result for "grilled by house subcommittee" :

Grilled! Photo by Cliff Owen / AP

 The MLB can begin to heal and recover its sense of fairness only after some rich old dudes are seared by the hot flame of justice, by which we mean they should endure some scolding by politicians in an oaky chamber. Then, perhaps, we can reinstate the Nats to the playoffs and make the Dodgers play them in an NLCS redo, since it looks like the Cubs are just going to get swept anyway. Congress, act now, before we need a World Series redo as well!

 #blangate

An American debate, but Brazilians are welcome

Note: Half of our readers (two of four) in the past week checked in from Brazil, so to them we send a hearty desculpe for talking American politics. It's never fun to be left out of a conversation, but sometimes it gives you time to run through your grocery list (lista de compras).

Sometimes an issue comes up for debate and it's hard to believe that people even imagine there are two sides. The answer is so obvious! We regret that we even have to discuss this, in 2017, but some are defending the indefensible and leaving Joe Blanton off their Nationals playoff roster!

These can't be the same ordinary Americans, average Joes and Josephines, that we grew up with. The voice of the American people has always supported the Blan, and come Friday we are confident that #56 will take the field for game 1. Still, the unusually vociferous, virulent, vindictive, and vituperative voices that have popped up in opposition to Blanton's inclusion give us pause!

Is a transparent debate even possible anymore? Or have political action committees - PACs - poured millions into anti-Blan efforts that contradict the will of the people?

Only one man, and one Ms., can speak for the PACs and set the record straight. We went straight for the source and asked the question:



Tellingly, we received no response, even after hundreds of seconds.

#obrigado #blantober #blangate?

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