Eagles Special: Superpost

With the Joe Blanton free agency sweepstakes underway and the Philadelphia Eagles in the NFC Championship Game, Blangraphs takes time to say something nice about every Eagles player!

13Agholor, NelsonWRThe Ag had a great year! His run in the Atlanta game added a surprise dimension to the Eagles offense, too.
36Ajayi, JayRBJay is a whole different kind of #36. Brian Westbrook, the previous holder of the number, was a shifty pass catcher. Jay has been the key to the Eagles offense the past few weeks with his bruising runs.
94Allen, BeauDTBig Time Beau played both sides of the ball last year! Maybe his surprise fullback abilities will shock the Vikings.
38Barner, KenjonRBThe barnstormer is back! We think of him as a mini-Sproles but Kenjon is actually three inches taller than Darren. Barner will be on return duty and will try to break one like Josh Huff did last year against the Vikings!
96Barnett, DerekDEHe makes it look easy. Barnett looks so comfortable that it's hard to believe he's a rookie. He blocked a field goal and then recovered it himself!
66Beatty, WillTBeatty was an elite Eagles nemesis for years. He was great for the Giants, and is now a backup for the Birds. He's coming off an injury but could still have plenty of skills.
29Blount, LeGarretteRBBlount is the ultimate "been there before" player. He's just there to run people over as long as anyone's left to try to stop him.
53Bradham, NigelLBNigel is everywhere! He was the Eagles' top tackler and played the run and pass both really well.
50Braman, BryanDEWho knew Braman was a DE? We best know him as a great ST player.
79Brooks, BrandonGWe admit that we're among people who know basically nothing about almost half of the offense - the linemen. It turns out Brooks is awesome, though! And he did not false start all year!
88Burton, TreyTEDoesn't it seem like Trey is wide open once every game?
87Celek, BrentTEBrent has caught a TD from McNabb, Kolb, Vick, Sanchez (!), Foles, Bradford, and Wentz.
30Clement, CoreyRBWe think Clement is a really smart runner and also showed that he has WR-level receiving skills. Who knows, the Vikings game could be a Clement breakout party.
91Cox, FletcherDTThe Eagles have plenty of DL to rotate, but Cox is probably not going to come off the field. Who can make him?
75Curry, VinnyDEQuintessential Curry is flying off the edge and disrupting everything.
41Darby, RonaldCBEagles fans are not usually nice to corners, so the media line is that we're "concerned" about Darby. He's young and good and adaptable.
32Douglas, RasulCBThis rookie has been great when he's played. As a player with the long "oo" sound in his name, maybe he'll get a Rasuuuuul chant going when he picks off Keenum.
57Ellerbe, DannellLBWe're hoping that Ellerbe can play Sunday, which goes to show how much of a good impression he's made in just a few weeks. Plus he has a really great last name. Ell-er-be.
4Elliott, JakeKJake came out of nowhere and became an Eagles hero. The only kicks he ever seems to miss are 30-39 yarders, which we think is just his way of telling Doug to go for the TD. Also, happy birthday Jake!
86Ertz, ZachTEErtz is a friend to all QBs. Foles Bradford and Wentz all loved throwing to him. Even Mark Sanchez completed 15 passes to Ertz in one game!
9Foles, NickQBCris Carter says Keenum's advantage over Foles is his "gunslinger ability." We love playing QBs with that quality because the Eagles have a long, proud history of pressuring and intercepting them. The ultimate gunslinger, Brett Favre, had 12 TDs and 20 INTs against Philly. Oh right, Nick Foles -- he's really getting back into form and we want to see a couple of his patented surprise runs on Sunday.
47Gerry, NathanLBNate's been between the practice squad and the active roster. He's a safety-turned-linebacker so he could be in for coverage plays.
18Gibson, SheltonWRGibson may have some rapport with Foles since they both played on the second team in practices. He's a rookie who has not yet been on the field much.
52Goode, NajeeLBIt's Goode! Najee has gotten snaps most games this year as a role player.
55Graham, BrandonDEPerennially underrated, Brandon Graham was hard to ignore in the Falcons game. He was the guy pushing a tackle into the backfield on run plays and getting tackles for loss on Atlanta's final drive. He just seems to keep getting better.
24Graham, CoreySCorey Graham is new to the Eagles, but has been playing more snaps as a wily S/CB hybrid.

54Grugier-Hill, KamuLBThe famous backup kicker and special teamer, KGH credits some of his kicking technique to his D1 soccer star girlfriend, Erin Smith.
10Hollins, MackWRWe like Mack because he bikes to home games and practices! He is not normally seen for many snaps in a game but he makes them count.
17Jeffery, AlshonWRGreat hands! Alshon makes the whole offense better. He led the league in two point conversions this year as well.
27Jenkins, MalcolmSJenkins took on a leadership role in speaking out against police killings and trying to find ways to improve American society. Not bad! He also is a great safety and I've been told he plays downhill against the run very well.
93Jernigan, TimDTHe might not get the stats but he can mess up an offensive line! He pushes people around in ways that create opportunities for his teammates.
65Johnson, LaneTFirst team All-Pro! Dog mask enthusiast.
14Johnson, MarcusWRYoung WR who likes jambalaya! We do too. He got some catches in week 17 when Nate was playing QB.
8Jones, DonniePJones is great at punting. He has 1110 regular season punts and 50500 punt yards. He's also third on the list of active consecutive game streaks.
22Jones, SidneyCBThe new owner of Brandon Boykin's number! Sidney Jones worked his way through injury and got on the field in week 17. He might even be active for the Vikings game.
62Kelce, JasonCNot trying to start anything, but he's way cooler than Travis. Also, Jason is a first-team all-pro center and wears a great beard. We love his downfield blocking!
95Kendricks, MychalLBVery fast and often very good. Will be facing off against his brother Eric (a Vikings LB) today.
56Long, ChrisDEChris is a thoughtful activist and also a good DE. He thought of the dog masks, too, so you can decide whether to credit or blame him with that.
45Lovato, RickLSRick Lovato is the Long Snapper. No it's not Mike Bartrum or the magic guy, who is also not Mike Bartrum. The magic guy was really great and you should remember his name, because he was on the Eagles for 11 years. Oh well. They say that being an anonymous Long Snapper shows that you are a good Long Snapper.
23McLeod, RodneySAt other times the Eagles had McCoy, other McCoy, McDougle, McNabb, McCants, and Maclin. Now the McLeod has the distinction of team Mack. He's good!
51Means, StevenDEIt seems like Steven Means should be on the Bills. His father went to Buffalo state, and Means went to the University of Buffalo. We're happy to have him in Philadelphia, though!
31Mills, JalenCBGreen haired wizard who will be matched up against Stefon Diggs for the afternoon, good luck Mills!
98Qualls, ElijahDTThird player in Eagles history with a Q last name (Mike Quick and Bill Quinlan). Was a RB in high school, so maybe he can make some moves on a fumble return.
21Robinson, PatrickCBRobinson has been a great nickel corner! He leads the Eagles in interceptions with 4.
73Seumalo, IsaacGSay-oo-mah-low. His dad played with Doug Pederson in NFL Europe! Isaac is a good reserve guard and had two starts this year.
28Smallwood, WendellRBDelawarean! Had some great flashes but is now the fifth RB for the Eagles and hasn't been playing much. Look for a reshuffle soon or a trade because he should be on the field for someone.
82Smith, TorreyWRThe master of drawing pass interference calls, also caught the now famous "knee bonker" which led to a late field goal in the first half of the Eagles-Falcons game. Look for a few quick out passes, we predict the first throw of the game to be a short out to Torrey.
7Sudfeld, NateQBWe hope we don't need to see him play Sunday, but he had a decent inaugural performance in week 17.
97Vaeao, DestinyDTThe DT of destiny.
72Vaitai, HalapoulivaatiTVaitai has had a bit of a tumultous year, replacing Jason Peters is no small task. He has recently really picked things up in run blocking and we believe he will hold down the left side of the line against the Vikings.
67Warmack, ChanceGTake a chance on me!
26Watkins, JaylenSSammy Watkins' bro. Getting some snaps at CB and S these days.
61Wisniewski, StefenG/CThe Wiz. Starting guard these days and doing well at it!


Goforth, RandallCBHe might someday be a safety! But for now he's hurt.
58Hicks, JordanLBWith Hicks, Peters, Sproles, and Wentz all year long, the Eagles might have beaten everyone by double digits. That's how it plays out in our minds, anyway. Defensive captain who is grinding his way back from an Achilles injury.
42Maragos, ChrisSSpecial teams ace and sometime safety! We'll see him next year.
71Peters, JasonTPeters has long been one of the best left tackles in the game. Unfortunately, he was injured in week 7 but before his injury he offered sage advice to kicker Jake Elliot before his historic 61 yard field goal- "No more misses, bro."
34Pumphrey, DonnelRBWe'll have to wait for the year of the Pump. Donnel was ridiculously successful in college but struggled in preseason and then tore his hamstring. Ouch. He officially approves the title "Pump."

Shittu, AzizDTUDFA from Stanford! Was a psych major so he can get inside the other team's minds.
43Sproles, DarrenRBA hall-of-famer. Has been playing his own style of football for what feels like decades, and we only get the occasional "sort of like Darren Sproles" player. We hope he gets healthy and plays another year on his own terms if he wants to.
6Sturgis, CalebKVery anagram-friendly name: our favorite is "rustic bagels." Caleb is a good kicker who had bad injury luck.
59Walker, JoeLBUnfortunately hurt his knee in the preseason. Backup LB who was chosen from the Oregon ducks after Chip Kelly left!
11Wentz, CarsonQBCome back, Carson!!! QBs never used to be this ready for the NFL! What a year- record for TD passes by an Eagles QB in only 13.5 games.

Williams, DomWRDomination coming soon?

Five days after elimination, #Blangate warrants grilling by committee

 Not this kind of grilling. Credit - Katarina Petrovska

The American people (well, at least a few people who happen to be American, not that there's anything wrong with that!) continue to clamor for an investigation after the Washington Nationals, having left Joe Blanton off their NLDS roster, were eliminated in a wild 9-8 game 5.

Nats middle relievers gave up six runs and six hits in that game, if you know what I'm saying.

This blog is not one to stir up discord and strife, but at this point we think that there cannot possibly be any harm in just asking a few questions. These questions would probably point to a conspiracy of some sort, for a nefarious goal that would inflame the outrage of every right-thinking person. It would have something to do with a personal agenda against Blanton, or a personal agenda against winning, which is basically the same thing. However, it is not up to us to decide who plays what part in this real-life drama.

We instead demand that the people responsible for #blangate be grilled by a house subcommittee.

Whenever justice is grossly miscarried, conspirators who thought that they would get away with it are forced to wear their best suits to Capitol Hill and are photographed while frowning at tricky questions and moral rebukes. This is called a "grilling." To give you an idea of what we are talking about, here's a top google images result for "grilled by house subcommittee" :

Grilled! Photo by Cliff Owen / AP

 The MLB can begin to heal and recover its sense of fairness only after some rich old dudes are seared by the hot flame of justice, by which we mean they should endure some scolding by politicians in an oaky chamber. Then, perhaps, we can reinstate the Nats to the playoffs and make the Dodgers play them in an NLCS redo, since it looks like the Cubs are just going to get swept anyway. Congress, act now, before we need a World Series redo as well!


An American debate, but Brazilians are welcome

Note: Half of our readers (two of four) in the past week checked in from Brazil, so to them we send a hearty desculpe for talking American politics. It's never fun to be left out of a conversation, but sometimes it gives you time to run through your grocery list (lista de compras).

Sometimes an issue comes up for debate and it's hard to believe that people even imagine there are two sides. The answer is so obvious! We regret that we even have to discuss this, in 2017, but some are defending the indefensible and leaving Joe Blanton off their Nationals playoff roster!

These can't be the same ordinary Americans, average Joes and Josephines, that we grew up with. The voice of the American people has always supported the Blan, and come Friday we are confident that #56 will take the field for game 1. Still, the unusually vociferous, virulent, vindictive, and vituperative voices that have popped up in opposition to Blanton's inclusion give us pause!

Is a transparent debate even possible anymore? Or have political action committees - PACs - poured millions into anti-Blan efforts that contradict the will of the people?

Only one man, and one Ms., can speak for the PACs and set the record straight. We went straight for the source and asked the question:

Tellingly, we received no response, even after hundreds of seconds.

#obrigado #blantober #blangate?

The Return of the Blan 5/13/2017

Welcome back throngs of viewers- we are about to begin the much awaited Joe Blanton vs. Phillies liveblog!
Due to technical difficulties of us now having to pay "Blyve", which I can only assume is the name Burt Blyven chose when I bought our old liveblogging platform we cannot actually do a "live blog".
So instead enjoy this "snive snog"!
Blanton enters, No. 56 from the bullpen. We wipes his brow 5 times and removes his cap. Apparently all he throws now is a slider- he must have purchased our TBI approved burger making kit which describes exactly how to roll your patties up into balls and spin them from 66 feet away onto the grill.
He inherits a mess left behind by 120 pitches in 5 innings "Roark". Two runners on, including the pitcher Nick Pizza. The situation is essentially hopeless as our slugger  TOJO steps up the plate. TOJO has been mashing for a .240 average this year with >1 HR.
Blanton stares in with a scowl that would make Ty Cobb tremble.
TOJO lines a hit into left! Pizza scores! It's a Papaslam!!!! The Phillies extend their lead over the hapless Nationals to 4.
Blanton goes back the well and hurls a few good sliders past Micah Owings to retire the side, lowering his ERA to a sharp 9.49 for the season.

Ringtracker 2016

Welcome back, loyal readers of Blangraphs! We were concerned that constant posting was getting out of hand, so we waited a few days to make another update to this blog.

As we all know, Joe Blanton was instrumental to the regular season Royals' success in 2015, securing a playoff spot for them before moving on to the NL playoff-contending Pirates. When the Royals won the Series, Blanton was crowned champion again and received another ring.

This year, he joins fellow Phillies Chase Utley and Carlos Ruiz in an epic battle to defeat rogue Phillie Jayson Werth. Blanton will also attempt to gain his third ring and enter rarefied Elf-territory. We have updated his progress in our new official Ringtracker2016:

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