Blangraphs

 WELCOME TO THE BLANCENTROMICONOPOLIS BASEBALL BLASTERS PREGAME SPECTACULAR.

Stick with us until game time as we are joined by a live hype band for the ENTIRE time through first pitch:

Here is your lineup and the Blanalytics predictions for each player:

1. Kyle Schwarber 3-3 2 HR 2 BB

2. Trea Turner 4-4 2 HR 2 3B 1BB 2SB

3. Bryce Harper 1-1 1 HR 4BB 4 SB

4. Alec Bohm hit a double!

5. Bryson Stott 5-5 5 singles, all advancing to second on the unsuccessful throw home.

6. J.T. Realmuto 4-4 1 HR 3 2B 1 Catcher's Interference

7. Nick Castellanos 12-12 12 HR still batting past midnight when everyone else went home

8. Brandon Marsh hits for a bicycle

9. Johan Rojas 6-6 and none of those hits were bunts

On the mound: Ranger Suárez 9 IP 25K 79 pitches

Final Score: Phillies 28 - Other Team 0