Blangraphs

So. Guys.

Let me start again. You know how sometimes you just need a graph but are too busy texting to like, look it up? And of course the graphs are always so flat and line-y when you even find them.

How about we just forget about that and get graphs delivered to your door, on your schedule? And can we just have an app where you tap anywhere to pay?

Yes, and YES!

The new service from Blangraphs and our partners at Tri-Booda Industries, Grapht, links up our graphs to you, and your virtual wallet straight to us! Did you forget to check Blangraphs while you were sleeping? Delete the FOMO -- and have peace of mind -- because your phone will now turn into an airhorn whenever BG is updated! And don't worry about forgetting to pay. Your phone will do that for you automatically whenever a payment is due or whenever you type a "b" in any text message. Thanks phone!

Now we can throw away all our clocks, computers, Palm Pilots, and other outdated junk that this new app has replaced. Good riddance to that crud!

From time to time, Blangraphs offers controversial views by leading baseball bloggers in a guest post series we call "BG Pressbox." This week, Sand County Moisture Prospector reporter Gazappo Nernbladt offers some of the unwritten rules behind press voting.

It's that time of year... AGAIN.

I'm not just talking about the Dr. K's Exotic Animal ER Season Premiere.

All around the Outer Rim, the Guild of Wookiee Writers Alderaan Memorial (GWWAM) consider the evidence and select the Incom-Freitek Wookiee of the Year, and so many are clamoring for Chewbacca.

Sure, all the galacto-nerds who spend their republic credits on scomp link access probably crunched the numbers and have a nice stat justification for Chewbacca, or "Chewie" as they call him on the holonet. They yell out "he was a two time Death Star exploder!" or point to the number of stormtroopers that he dispatched.

But at under 300 years old, I think it's a little too soon to get so excited for the youngster just yet. His flamboyant antics (stealing an AT-ST and giving his teammates a scare) might play well to the fans, but long time observers know that it takes a steady hand and not flashy moves to be a true WotY.

Even if Chewbacca does win the award, it would not be proper for it to be handed over unanimously. That just seems too easy and I can't say that his achievements match the performance we would expect from a first-ballot, unanimous WotY. There's so much left to prove for the young Wookiee before we crown him in such a way.

If there is any decency left in Wookiee journalism, we should hope that some voters would go with the dependable, valuable, and respectable option and vote to venerate the honorable Grakchawwaa, King of Kashyyk.

In honor of Joe B. and the Sixers' current playoff run, we at Blangraphs salute every Philly pro we could find who ever wore the big #56.

Philadelphia Soul (Arena Football)

Complete List Unknown.
 
Unfortunately, our Blangraphs network security team warned us that the Soul website might steal credit card information if we tried to look up past jersey numbers. As we have already used up the Blancorp fraud budget for the year trying to buy bulk discounted Michael Martinez autographs, we were unable to proceed at this time.

Our research team was able to determine that DL Willie McGinnis wore #56 for the Soul last year. He had 3 tackles.

Philadelphia Union (MLS)


 No players have worn 56 for the Union. They are the city's pro soccer team and play in Chester. Someday, perhaps, they will honor the Blan when some footballer takes up the mantle of 56.

 Philadelphia Stars (USFL)

George Cooper (pictured tackling Herschel Walker) and Buddy Moor. The Stars were in Philadelphia for just two seasons, but went 31-5 in their 1983 and 1984 regular seasons and won a USFL championship before they left the city. The Stars' move to Baltimore and the entire USFL's demise after 1985 came about for the same reason: the USFL schedule moved from spring to fall, and put the league in direct competition for stadiums and viewers with the much more powerful NFL and MLB.

Philadelphia Stars and Darby Hilldale Club (Negro Leagues)
Jersey Numbers Unknown. Records of Negro League statistics and jersey numbers are not well-documented, and some photos do not include jerseys with numbers. The Hilldale Club played into the 1930s before disbanding amidst the Great Depression, and the Stars played until 1952. Phil Cockrell of Hilldale had two no-hitters in his career, and the Stars won a championship in the '40s.






 Philadelphia Flyers (NHL)

Claude Giroux, Tyrell Goulbourne, and Mike McKenna. No player has worn 56 for a long time on the Flyers. Giroux wore it as his sweater number (as jerseys are apparently called in the NHL) in his first two games with the flyers, then newcomer Goulbourne last year, and McKenna stopped by for a couple of games in 2019 as 56.
 
Philadelphia 76ers (NBA)
None. But 65 was worn by George Ratkovic, who by player comparisons could be said to be the DeMarcus Cousins of 1950.

 Philadelphia Eagles (NFL)

Bill Hewitt, Fred Whittingham, Bill Hobbs, Bill Overmyer, Dean Halverson, Jerry Robinson, Byron Evans, David Brown, Joe Kelly, Darrin Smith, Mike Caldwell, Shawn Barber, Derrick Burgess, Greg Richmond, Akeem Jordan, Phillip Hunt, Bryan Braman, and Chris Long.
Hewitt played for the Eagles, the Steagles, and the Bears - in fact, the Bears even retired #56 in his honor. 

Whittingham and Hobbs played for the Eagles, among other teams, in the '60s and '70s. Bill Overmyer and Halverson made brief appearances with the Eagles. 

Jerry Robinson was a first round pick as a tight end, but ended up playing linebacker on the 1980 Super Bowl team and also made a pro bowl.

Evans, Brown, and Kelly had short stints as defenders for the Eagles, and Darrin Smith's time in Philly was shortened by injury.

Mike Caldwell was an LB for the Eagles in the 1990s and later became a coach for them. He is now an LB coach with the Arizona Cardinals. Shawn Barber had two quick appearances with the Eagles and later worked in coaching as well.

Derrick Burgess, a DE, was a huge part of the Eagles' victory over Michael Vick and the Falcons in the 2004 NFC Championship Game. 

Greg Richmond never really saw the field for the Eagles and is now a college coach.

Akeem Jordan was a UDFA who battled from the practice squad onto the roster and became a starting linebacker for some of the 2000s. Phillip Hunt saw some playing time before he became injured.

Super Bowl Champion Bryan Braman was not wearing #56 (his original number) when the Eagles beat the Patriots in February of 2018, as it was assigned to teammate Chris Long (pictured above). 

Philadelphia Phillies (MLB)
Dave Wehrmeister, Rich Surhoff, Jay Baller, Bob Wells, Calvin Maduro, Brandon Duckworth, Geoff Geary, R.J. Swindle, Joe Blanton, Cesar Jimenez, Nefi Ogando, and Zach Eflin.

Wehrmeister: a pitcher who served in the '80s. Surhoff: 1-0 as a starter in 1985. Baller: Another pitcher who was traded for Von Hayes. Wells also went 1-0. Maduro is now a scout for the Orioles. 

And then the legends start rolling in. 

Duckworth was followed by the loyal Duck Pond fan group from his first start at Veteran's Stadium. Geary shut down NL hitters for a couple of years in the late 2000s. RJ Swindle took batters for a ride with his tricky delivery...

and then came Blanton. WS Champion, home run smasher, and pitching pioneer. Big Joe wore 56 throughout his MLB career, or at least that's our story and we don't feel like looking it up. If it's not entirely true, please don't let us know.

For some reason, Blanton was kind enough not to ask that his number be retired for all time, and it has since been proudly worn by relievers Cesar Jimenez and Nefi Ogando. Now, a new era of tribute has begun with the efforts of Zach Eflin, another starting pitcher who has been working on crushing home runs; he hit one last year.

Here at Blangraphs we pride ourselves on moving the national conversation away from the traditional view of Philadelphia as a knee-jerk, overly negative fanbase that overreacts to small things. That's why you haven't seen much Bryce Harper content on this blog so far. However, with his first spring training at-bat just minutes away, we now believe that it is time to run the analysis and decide whether the trade was worth it.

The contract details:

• 13 years, $330 million plus $20 million referral bonus when Mike Trout is signed*
• No opt-out unless Bryce turns out to be a Geno's type of guy, if you know what we mean
• Contract adds an amendment to the next MLBPA such that robo-umpires will give Bryce four strikes when they are installed
• Comes with a bank account that automatically buys everything on Giancarlo Stanton's credit card statement

The analysis:

Clearly, there's not much we can say until Bryce has actually taken the field and seen his first at-bat, but once he does, we will immediately render judgment. Our Blanalyzer3000 has run all the possible outcomes and, surprisingly, there is a 99.98% chance that only one of two things will happen, and it all depends on that first plate appearance.

Possibility 1: Flailing Strikeout

Analysis: OVERRATED!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Possibility 2: Towering home run that rockets over the Disney castle, prompting a spontaneous fireworks display

Analysis: Cheesesteaks replace the food pyramid, new national anthem is the theme from "Rocky," UN passes unanimous resolution that it was drunk santa's fault.


 


So, it is not really a big deal, but you might want to watch today at 1:05pm EST to find out the future of the franchise, and our nation.

* Blangraphs Inc. has incorporated a strikethrough for this text in compliance with a tampering suit brought against us by the Los Angeles, California Anaheim Angels in the Outfield/Infield Baseball Club. It's still totally true.